May 5, 2013

Craft Your Cozy Cottage: Watch out for Gummy Bears

Working outdoors cleanses the soul. But then, along comes a tick and ruins the whole zen moment.

Last Monday, at the END of a full work day and a full 24 hours after being in our yard, I was in the ladies room at work with my hands on my lower back, doing a little stretch. (I do strange things in the ladies room, nothing illegal or perverted. Sometimes I'll do 25 knee lunges in the handicap stall, just to get the blood flowing. Is that wrong?)

In the middle of my quick stretch I felt a little something on my lower back. My first thought was,"Gross a sticky piece of candy". Why a sticky piece of candy would have gotten to my lower back I have no idea, but that's where my head went.

The "sticky piece of candy" didn't remove easily. I had to pinch, whatever it was, and PULL it off my skin.  When I brought my hand to my face to see what color gummy bear it was, I almost crapped my pants when I realized it was a tiny, baby-like tick. F*&^%'in Hell!!!

The idea that this thing had been attached to me for, ooh I don't know all day and all night made me want to puke. Good thing I was already in the bathroom.

Back at my desk, pale as a ghost, I googled what disease I was going to get. Lyme disease, I figured. As if I didn't already have enough issues with my joints (I have rheumatoid arthritis).

Most articles mentioned making sure to "remove its head" from wherever it embeds itself". Is that the sickest shit you've ever heard? If you're concerned about whether it carries disease bring the tick to the MD to have it looked at. Uhhh. Yeah.  That little jujube died an instant death on the bathroom wall where I smushed it. (I wiped down the wall, btw)

Anyway, it wasn't "engorged" with my  blood, which I would be able to tell by its size. It was tiny, but big enough that I could see its smile and I think I heard it say, "Thanks for the ride into the city and for dinner."

Today I have to get back on that horse and rake the lawn. I would make my honey do it, but we know men never do anything right. (ooh, I'm kidding!- he's reading this)

I'm not really sure how to prevent being another ticks lunch, but I'll layer my clothing and wear bug spray.  Although I really wish I had a hazmat suit.